Why It Took Me 5 Months to Find A Therapist
Broken Reality, 2011, lonnie Woods III
Earlier this year I found myself overwhelmed by compounding family issues, feelings of isolation, broken friendships, professional stressors and the pressure of my fast-paced life. After venting to my closest friends I decided that it was time to re-engage my psychotherapy sessions. I have no shame when it come to staying mentally fit. In fact I enjoy dissecting my thoughts and behaviors with a non bias party...counseling is an over thinkers dream lol
Little did I know that the process of finding a new counselor would prove to become just as, if not more stressful than the reasons I needed counseling in the first place! Below I have listed some barriers I faced during my search for a therapist.
Like Finding a Needle in a Haystack
In short, searching online for a therapist was no fun! I started by using my insurance companies online provider search. I found that the online tool was not user friendly and did not give me a wide range of quality options for therapists that matched my search criteria. Eventually I tried the Psychology Today search engine which was a little better but ultimately stressful and time consuming.
Out Of Network and Out of Control
Out of network means that a providers services are not covered by your insurance company which results in you having to pay full price out of pocket for the services... Nah Bruh! Also in my experience, specialized therapy styles such as Art and Drama Therapy were never covered by in network providers.
Currently Not Taking New Clients
Popular/ highly rated counselors or those that were a strong match for my needs often were not taking new clients at the time. This issue further limited my options.
Representation Matters
My preference for a counselor was that he/she/they were a person of color. I found that it was difficult to indicate on the databases if the therapist was a person of color especially because photos were not always available.
The Waiting Game
The time it takes to find a therapist can be anywhere from a few days to a few months!! I found it so exhausting that I gave up several times.I started my search in May and found a therapist in September! But even then my intake appointment was a couple weeks after the phone consultation and I did not start my first session until 3 weeks later.
My Conclusion
Finally I found a counselor after a 5 month search and oddly enough I found my therapist through a referral after the online search failed me! I must say that it was worth the work and the wait however the search was so exhausting. I can really see how the barriers involved with finding a therapist can turn someone off to the benefits of counseling.
The Experts Advice
I know that my experience is not unique so I reached out for a professional opinion from my sister Tierra. Tierra is a dear friend and North Carolina based mental health professional, educator and advocate. She was kind enough to answer a few questions to provide some perspective and resources for those who may be considering therapy.
Q&A with
Tierra Parsons
Mental Health Educator and Social Worker
What motivated you to work in the mental health field?
If I were to be honest, I don’t know the exact time when I felt motivated to work in the mental health field but I do have a couple of top experiences. Those times included my experience in Baltimore, MD when I attended The University of Maryland, Baltimore School of Social Work and my professional experiences in behavioral health.
When I first moved to Baltimore in 2007 I observed a lot of people that were homeless. This was the first time that I experienced this and I was in shock. The reason I was in shock was because I am from a small town in North Carolina and we did not see “homelessness” on a regular basis or at all for that matter. I knew at that point that people that dealt with a lot of things that created tough life situations and I wanted to help in any way that I could. I’ve always had a heart to help people so this further inspired me to passionately pursue my Master’s Degree in Social Work so that I could learn everything possible and also apply the skills learned via my internships to the populations that I would serve.
When working in behavioral health, I realized how much working in the field impacted my own mental health. I had never experienced such “dark” places and I thought to myself, “How can I be a therapist and need help myself? How could anyone think I would even be credible?” When I think back on those times, I am glad that I sought out help. If I did not help myself and recognize the issue, I would not be here to even contribute to this blog. When people are in those dark spaces, it is very hard to be hopeful. I believe that few people actually WANT to be depressed and I say few because nothing nowadays is 100%. People just need a listening ear and a plan to overcome the obstacle that the face and a solution to a problem that seems unsolvable. Reaching out was the best thing that I could have done and still do. I am thankful for those around me who listen and care and I want to encourage all providers in the mental health field not to be afraid to take care of yourself first. Speak out so you can be mentally equipped to lift others up.
What are your current professional roles?
1-Director of Counseling Services at Johnson C. Smith University
2-Adjunct Professor (School of Social Work) at Johnson C. Smith University
3-Contracted Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Do you think that everyone can benefit from therapy? Why or why not?
I think that everyone can benefit from “someone to talk to”. People have many different opinions about “therapy” and what it entails. The reason for these opinions is because of either good or unpleasant experiences with a therapist or agency or even what they believe culturally. It is important to find the right fit with a therapist so that both the client and the practitioner can build a good rapport and trusting relationship with one another. Life happens to the best of us and if things continue to build, it only takes one circumstance to make someone feel like everything is falling down around them. If the fit is right, then yes…everyone can benefit from therapy. As a therapist, we always want to make sure that we are doing what is in the best interest of the client so it is important to have regular dialogue about the progress that is made during the treatment process.
Have you had any personal challenges finding mental health providers?
Yes, I have had personal challenges finding a mental health provider. The thing is, there are many providers but not all of them accept certain insurances or their fees may not be affordable for some. Being a contracted worker for many years created a lot of barriers because I either could not afford the insurance premiums, the service or I didn’t have adequate coverage. Another barrier was when I actually secured insurance, it did not cover my assessment so I had to go to my primary care physician. I was so frustrated because I wanted to be serviced by a particular provider and I couldn’t so I totally understand when clients feel the same when seeking services.
What advice would you give to people of color who are seeking providers that represent their cultural/racial/ethnic background?
The advice I would give to people of color who are seeking providers that represent their cultural/racial/ethnic background is to spend time researching their websites and other professional sites. I would call them in advance to see if they accept the insurance that they have or if they do not have insurance I would ask them if they have a sliding scale. It also wouldn’t hurt to visit the agency or provider to see how you feel when you are there. Granted, vibes change all the time, but it wouldn’t hurt to go visit if that’s possible. I also wouldn’t count out a provider that did not necessarily represent their background because therapists from different backgrounds have special gifts and talents that could help as well. As long as the person receives the help they need and builds a good relationship with the therapist, that’s all that matters.
What are some of the steps to finding a provider that you think it is essential for people to know?
One of the biggest steps I think is to first acknowledge that you need a little (or a lot of) help and support. If your job has an EAP (Employee Assistance Program), it could be worth it to try this out if you just want to see how you like it. Some jobs have certain providers in that network so keep that in mind. Another route could be to see if the county/state has a MCO (Managed Care Organization). This MCO should have an ACCESS line or a number to call for a care coordinator to link them with a provider that would best fit their needs. Also, I would simply ask around (i.e. colleagues, friends and pastors). Some people have had good experiences with a provider and could make an awesome referral. There are also national websites that could be used to finding a provider such as the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). Lastly, some churches, places of worship or spiritual/holistic gathering places have resources that could be useful. As a special note to college students: if possible, seek support from the Counseling Center on campus. The one take away from this is: don’t stop until you find a therapist that works. Just don’t give up. If you feel that you don’t want to repeat your story over and over, it may help to write it down so that you can give it to them as a head start and you can decrease the impact of retelling your story.
What would be your advice to someone who has never tried therapy before?
My advice to someone who has never tried therapy before is to be hopeful and optimistic that things will work and also get better. It may not happen overnight because the concerns didn’t all happen overnight so this is why hope is important here. Also, keep in mind that it may take some time for things to level out so don’t give up on it so quickly. If you need to ask questions, ask them. As a matter of fact, write them down prior to starting so that you can think clearer. If something doesn’t feel right, speak up about it. If you need to bring something to color or doodle on while in therapy, do that. If it helps to bring someone for support, ask about the process for making this happen. Whatever accommodations you need just ask. This is your personal journey; a journey that was not promised to be easy but it will be worth it. When we go through things in life, sometimes it is to help someone else…so that they can see the living, breathing being that made it through the very thing that they are experiencing. Look at it this way, when a person is training for a marathon, they have to do a lot of conditioning to get stronger and sometimes that process is hard…but the good thing is that they get stronger and the pain that they experienced, they realize that they made it through. The athlete is now able to run longer, lift more weight and win more races! The same applies to mental health; once you get through it you will be stronger, you will be better and you will experience more victories!
Can you share some of the common barriers to finding a therapist?
Some common barriers to finding a therapist are: stigma, fear, insurance, finances, transportation, the lack of child care and sometimes….the actual agency J Some agencies lose a lot of clientele because of broken systems and processes. On the other hand, there are lot of changes that happen in the mental health field that are beyond the therapist or agency’s control that cause changes to happen with policies. For this reason, a lot of adjustments have to be made that unfortunately cause barriers to treatment. This is not the case all the time, but it does happen.
Can you provide any online resources that will help facilitate a therapist search?
American Psychological Association
National Alliance on Mental Illness
What I learned about myself on a solo trip to Miami
“Unfortunately, the trip is cancelled” read the text from a friend less than a week away from our planned arrival in Miami, Florida this past June. Soon after digesting her message I found out that our 3rd friend also could not make the trip. The world seemed to pause as I started to process the fact that I might not be sitting beach side with a margarita a few days later. As the haze of the shock started to fade It was time to make a decision. I could either lose the money I paid for my flight and not go to Miami or go alone and find my own hotel accommodations.
As an only child I am pretty comfortable with doing things alone but was I ready for a solo trip? Do I love me that much?
The next day I decided that I was still going to go. Even though I had already purchased my plane ticket, I still had to book a hotel for my 4 night stay. This made me a little nervous because I know how pricey hotels can be when you book them close to the check in date. But then I remembered that my friend LJ had been raving about how awesome Hotel Tonight app was so I figured I’d give it a try.
Hotel Tonight provides discounted rates because they partner with hotels to get unbooked rooms for the low...tonight or for future nights. Hotel Tonight has a sleek and user-friendly interface with high quality images of the rooms and hotel property , detailed descriptions and a thorough list of the amenities and check in/out info.
I was able to search and book a hotel in minutes. To jazz up my solo trip experience I decided to hotel hop and stay at 3 different hotels over the course of my trip. I really like hotels so I figured this was the best time to try out a few.
Hotel Tonight has made is super simple to search on the app. First your destination and then your travel dates and within seconds you can browse multiple curated options within a range of price points from budget to BALLING! being that I was traveling alone I thought it would be cool to stay at a different hotel every night.
Hotel #1: Chesterfield Hotel & Suites: Convenient location,Dated Decor
This hotel was my least favorite of the 3 hotels I stayed at during the trip although I appreciated that they offer a complimentary airport shuttle which was great because I didn't have to take a car service saved money to get there form teh airport. The hotel is a small boutique style space with an old hollywood feel. For me the decor and atmosphere simply wasn't my style. The rooms were clean but it felt dated and a bit dark s I was excited to head to my next destination. Of all the hotels that I stayed at during my trip, this onw had the best location as it was steps away from ocean drive and the beach.
Hotel #2: YVE Hotel: Chic, Sleek & Sexy
YVE hotel is what one thinks of when they think Miami. Modern decor, lots of white and an easy breezy atmosphere. When I walked into my room at YVE I felt like I had walked into an oasis. All white linen and the most comfortable bed. I loved this hotel so much that I extended my stay for one more night.
Hotel #3: Hotel Gaythering: Unique, Corky and fun!
Yes “Gay” is in the title so you know that this hotel was a rainbow loving, glitter throwing good time! The design of the hotel reminds me of a small motel but the decor is super cute. I felt very comfortable and the service was great. They also has cool amenities like a steam room and complimentary breakfast.
The theme of my trip was rest and rejuvenation. I had just finished up an academic year as teacher and administrator and I was ready to chill and re group.During my trip I went to the beach, ate lovely meals, checked up a club one night, jogged along the shore line, went shopping and even ran into a friend who happened to be in Miami at the same time!
I am so happy that I still decided to go on that trip because I put my fear of change aside and went with the flow and the results were wonderful. Now I think I want to travel alone at least once a year.
3 Benefits of a Solo Vacation
You are working on your own schedule, you pick the agenda and there is no one to answer to if you want to cancel
Get in tune with yourself. Traveling alone forced me to focus on internal thoughts and goals that I don’t usually think of when I’m so busy being social with other people. This
Explore and find new things. Being alone gives you the mobility to try new things more easily, You can walk around, get lost, meet new people at a bar and lay on the beach for hours without worrying about what's next.
Have you ever vacationed alone? If so where did you go?
Skin Care Upgrade: From Deals to Kiehl's
Anyone who knows me knows that I am frugal. I enjoy quality things at a discounted price. So if that makes me frugal then oh well. My bestie jokingly calls me " Mr. Budget" lol . Listen, I need to hold on to my coins for rainy days! I budget shop for clothes, home decor, groceries and everything in between. My rules of frugality also used to apply to skin care products... until about 2 years ago.
Back in the day my skincare supply consisted of inexpensive over the counter products from brands such as Clean & Clear® that ranged in cost from $3.99 - $8.99 each. After using these products for a few years I noticed that my skin health was not improving. Once I turned 30 I decided to invest more money and time into my skincare products.
A little over a year ago while viewing the Snapchat story of Myleik Teele, entrepreneur and founder of curlBox, I took note of her positive review of Kiehl's Midnight Recovery Concentrate. Myleik's raving review caught my attention and helped me to consider trying Kiehl's for myself. I had also heard of Kiehl's from a few friends who had good things to say.
My First Kiehl's In- Store Experience
Kiehl's New York Flagship - East Village, NY
After much internal debate I decided to check out the Kiehl's products in person. The New York flagship location for Kiehl's is located in East Village, Manhattan. One Friday afternoon after work I stopped by the store with little to no expectations. Once inside I was greeted by an associate wearing a white lab coat who asked me what I was looking for and did a quick skin type test.
The store is well lit with lots of well organized shelves full of products separated by category. After some browsing and silent pearl clutching due to sticker shock I decided to make my first purchase which consisted of the Ultra Facial Cream and Ultra Facial Cleanser which totaled about $50. I began using the products that night and I was excited to track my skin health progress over the next few weeks.
After seeing some positive results I was sold on Kiehl's. It's been a year and a few hundred bucks later and I haven't turned back since. I guess once you go Kiehl's you never go back!
Why Upgrade you skin care products?
Maybe your current skin care products are serving you well. That's awesome if that is the case. I am not advocating for everyone to change their products to Kiehl's or to another luxury line. But for those who are on the fence or want more information, I have listed some of the benefits that I have received since my big switch.
An Elevated Experience
Walking into a Kiehl's store is such an aesthetically pleasing and pleasant experience. The experience is part of what you pay for. It's way more elegant than the skin care aisle at your local drug store. At Kiehl's you get individual attention, a neat in-store experience and quality shopping bags to carry your products out it in!
Better Ingredients, Better Results
Kiehl's uses rare, naturally derived ingredients that have proven skin improving and nourishing qualities. These ingredients tend to cost more but the benefit is that you can assure that you aren't using harmful chemicals on your precious skin.
Customizable Options
One benefit of Kiehl's is the ability to create a skin care routine that is customized to your skincare needs. You can use the online Healthy Skin Routine Finder to assist you with suggestions on which products will give you the best results.
A Little Goes A Long Way
if your thinking about switching to a higher end skin care line, I know that it can be scary. I have found that the quality of the products are worth the money because you use way less product per application. As an example I only buy moisturizer 2-3 times a year. Because the quality is so good, you don't have to slop on huge amounts of the products at a time in order for them to work.
Still not convinced?
Trust me, I understand. If you would have asked my 25 year old self to spend more than $8.99 for a skin care product he probably would have laughed out loud. I have found that my investment has paid it self off a million times over. There are lots of products out there so be sure to try a few brands to see what works best for your skin and budget but Kiehl's is the one for me!
Want to learn more about Kiehl's?
visit www.kiehls.com
THE STUFF I USE: PRODUCT REVIEWS
This is a great everyday face wash that doesn't dry out your skin. It is the second Kiehl's face wash that I tried and although I am faithful to the Ultra Facial cleanser, this is a close runner up.
Creme de Corps Body Moistutizer
I received this as a free gift during an in-store promotion. It is a scent free, moisturizing lotion. It is average in terms of a lotion. I would not run to Khiel's for this lotion.
This mask has a very long and dramatic title but I promise that it's results are just as dramatically amazing. Have you ever has a mask that works double duty as an exfoliant? I'' wait? Once this mask is applied and has time to dry, the cranberry seeds serve as a gentle exfoliant as you rub the mask off your face. It's hard to put into words, all i can say is give it a try!
Applying this toner helps to remove access dirt from the day and helps to improve overall skin tone. It is a gentle alcohol free formula that will live your skin feeling Mmmmm mmmmm good.
Ultra Facial Cleanser
This is my holy grail daily cleanser. I love it because it removes dirt and grime without stripping your skin.
This is the G.O.A.T. of facial creams. It us moisturizing and has long lasting hydrating properties. I literally cannot live without this in my skincare routine. As a matter of fact I'm about to lather some on right now.
Songs That Saved My Life: Surviving Change
This installment of Songs That Saved My Life is dedicated to those moments where you are redefining yourself and need an anthem playing as you emerge from your cacoon. Change is sometimes difficult for yourself and others to digest however if you feel that a change is necessary, I personally believe that you have to move forward. Committing to a change no matter how small or drastic takes a certain amount of commitment and bravery. As you go through that journey you may feel alone at times, and that is normal. Sometimes the time away from the influence of society is exactly what you need in order to process your decision. Here are the songs that helped me to survive change.
Brand New Me - Alicia Keys Listen Here | Girl On Fire [2012]
One of the largest obstacles of making a change (especially one that in unpopular) is blocking out the opinions of those who do not agree with you,do not support you, and do not understand your vision. Often times these can be the people that mean the most to us. As painful as it may feel to separate yourself from the negative or opposing voices, in order for you to get where you need to be, you have to take charge of your transformation. And once you make the change, they may not be in love with the brand new you. That's ok, just sing this to yourself...
Notable Lyrics:
I don't need your opinion
I'm not waiting for your okay
I'll never be perfect, but at least now I'm brave
Now, my heart is open
And I can finally breathe
Don't be mad, it's just the brand new kind of free
That ain't bad, I found a brand new kind of me
Don't be mad, it's just a brand new time for me
I Didn't Know My Own Strength - Whitney Houston Listen Here | I Look To You [2009]
Doubt is an emotion that will probably haunt you as you begin to make changes in your life. As you go through the various stages of change you may find yourself asking questions such as " Did I make the right decision?" or "Can I handle this?". The late Whitney Houston is here to remind us that we have to be confident in the strength that we possess. We are enough and we can do it! We were not built to break.
Notable Lyrics
I thought I'd never find my way
I thought I'd never lift that weight
I thought I would break
I didn't know my own strength
And I crashed down, and I tumbled
But I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
Am I Wrong - Nico and Vinz Listen Here | Black Star Elephant [2013]
It is so easy to look around you and compare your life to others. And more often than not, we use those comparisons to gauge if our intuitions are valuable. It is so imperative that we learn to trust our own voice. That internal voice that is often times muffled due to various external influences. Trust your gut.
Notable Lyrics
Am I wrong for thinking out the box from where I stay?
Am I wrong for saying that I'll choose another way?
I ain't trying to do what everybody else doing
Just cause everybody doing what they all do
If one thing I know, how far would I grow?
I'm walking down this road of mine, this road that I call home
So am I wrong for thinking that we could be something for real?
Now am I wrong for trying to reach the things that I can't see?
But that's just how I feel, that's just how I feel
That's just how I feel trying to reach the things that I can't see
Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield Listen Here | Unwritten [2004]
We are all works in progress, don't allow the pressure of not having it all figured out keep you from moving forward. You will learn and gain resources along the way that will help you complete your task. All you need to start is a desire to change and the confidence to take the first step. The universe will guide the way after that.
Notable Lyrics
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Headed In The Right Direction - India.Arie Listen Here | Voyage To India [2002]
Sometimes all you need when you are feeling lost in your transition is reassurance that you are headed in the right direction. And just like the voice of your GPS, India let's us know that with love and intuition on our side, we are in fact going the right way.
Notable Lyrics
Headed in the right direction
I can see the light of day
I've got love as my protection
There's no need for me to be afraid
Addicted to Moving Forward
Walking.
It's something that we do everyday. It is a slower version of running. I woke up one day and realized that there were times in my life where I loved the feeling of moving forward. I was willing to risk it all in order to feel the sensation of moving forward.
I decided that I don't want to be so addicted to moving forward that I actually didn't care where I landed. In the past I was doing things in a way that helped me accomplish the task of checking off my checklist however I didn't always have a clear end goal in mind beyond that.
I created culture of intense goal attainment that placed me in a race that I could never win. Because I was running and never reaching a finish line.
The Lesson is: make sure that your running has an end goal so that you don't become addicted to the never satisfied feeling of moving forward.
In Love, Peace, and Style,
Lonnie
Songs That Saved My Life: The Prototype
Music has been a part of my life for a long time.
During my teenage years I would buy at least one album a week. Me and my childhood best friend Kwame were obsessed with music. We would talk for hours about the lyrics, how we would have changed the album covers, how we wished some albums had more than 10 songs etc. Over the years music has become a friend, encourager, motivator and so much more. I agree with the lyrics that Brandy sings in her love ballad dedicated to music entitled....Music lol (look it up).
“ I wake up to you, go to sleep to you, and all between I’m hearing you.”
Many of my friends laugh at me when I tell them that I don't have a TV in my apartment. The question I often get is " what do you do for entertainment?". The answer is " Listen to music". There is nothing like winding down to a great album or playlist and being submerged by its beauty and power. There is literally a song for every emotion.
Music helps me to process things and serves as the soundtrack to many stages of my life. I have found certain songs to be so impactful that they actually changed my mood and/or perception on certain things that I'm going through. I have always been a lyric fanatic.
I love to research lyrics, interpret their meaning and pull away pieces that stick with me.
I want to share some of the songs that helped me along the way. This is just part one because my song catalog is mad strong!
What are some songs that have saved your life?
In Love, Peace, and Style,
Lonnie
Break The Shell - India. Arie Listen Here | Songversation [2013]
India, India, India! I feel like she is the Queen of healing lyrics. Her songs are like lyrical therapy and emotional yoga all in one. Always so meaningful, calming, thought provoking, and thoughtful. Woooo Weee, this song right her brought me through some tough times. This song is about that moment when you realize what you need to do but the only thing holding you back is actually making the move (breaking the shell).
Notable Lyrics
Child it's time to break the shell
Life's gonna hurt but it's meant to be felt
You cannot touch the sky from inside yourself
You cannot fly until you break the shell
Forgiven Me - Mary Mary Listen Here | The Sound [2008]
If you find yourself holding on to something that you did or didn't do in the past and placing yourself in a mental prison of guilt to the point that you can no longer love yourself or function, this song is exactly what you need to listen to. The lyrics help you to assess your situation, gives you the keys to taking responsibility and owning your story as you move forward in love.
Notable Lyrics
I never ever wanna press rewind, never wanna go back in time.
Not much glory in that story but it's mine so
I'm moving who I am today, the past has past away
finally I have forgiven me
Scared of Beautiful - Brandy Listen Here | Two Eleven [2012]
Self love is key and so many times I was afraid of my potential to be great that fear held me back from even trying. This song reminded me that sometimes it's the truth that we fear more than the lie and that we have to appreciate our inner beauty in it's fullness in order to be our best selves.
Notable Lyrics
No wonder why there's no mirrors on these walls no more
You can't tell me why your so terrified of beautiful
Scared of the good, more than the evil,
scared of the light more than the dark.
Scared of a truth so much more than a lie
I'm scared for me, scared of beautiful
Can't Take That Away [Mariah's Theme] - Mariah Carey Listen Here|Rainbow [1999]
Throughout life I've encounted people who attempted to tear me down. The impact of this type of negative energy can really be hurtful. Mariah is the queen of an authentic lyric and this song reminds all of us that our light simply cannot be dimmed and we must remind ourselves often.
Notable Lyrics
Although they do try hard to make me feel that
I don't matter at all, but I refuse to fall
Tell me what I believe or loose faith in my dreams'
Cause there's a light in me that shines brightly
They can try but they can't take that away from me
Some Kind of Way - Jidenna Listen Here | The Cheif [2017]
Sometimes during my childhood I would come home upset about being bullied or feeling out of place and usually as I sat down for dinner with my mother with a sad look on my face, my mom would ask "what's wrong?". I would usually reply "nothing" or "I'm fine", but momma always knew when something was bothering me. Usually I would open up after she pried, then I would tell her that I had been bullied or was dwelling on an insecurity. Like clockwork she would begin the " You are enough" speech. She would say and I quote " You are not better than anyone else and no one is better than you!" You will be too fat for some, too skinny for some, too tall for some and too short for others but you have to know who you are at all times. It took me until my late 20s to really appreciate that advice. What mom was saying is that no matter what you do, somebody is going to still critique you, so you have to know your worth and live in your truth. Jidenna created a song which I consider the song version of the "You Are Enough" speech called " Some Kind Of Way" I love that Jidenna performs this song because as an educator I am so excited to share this with the high school students that I work with because at that age we are so heavily influenced by the pressure of what others thing of us.
Notable Lyrics
No matter what you say
Or where you go or what you do
Or how you pray
Somebody's gonna feel some kind of way
Somebody's gonna feel some kind of way about you
You can't hide your face
We're waiting for you to come out and play
Somebody's gonna feel some kind of way
Somebody's gonna feel some kind of way about you